


i think it's finally safe for me to fall

by d1attmv



Category: Ghostbusters - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26808319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d1attmv/pseuds/d1attmv
Summary: The feeling burns deep in Ray's stomach but he can never figure out why
Relationships: Egon Spengler/Ray Stantz, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	i think it's finally safe for me to fall

**Author's Note:**

> im bad at writing plus keeping up with fics. if this ends up getting deleted blame my autism.

Ray was usually a very positive person, he knew this. He felt so happy about the fact that Peter had gotten with Dana. He knew that if Winston got a girlfriend, he'd be happy for them but for some reason, he could not bring himself to be happy for Janine and Egon with whatever they had going on. He, of course, tried not to make that too obvious but, he was never a good liar or actor. Ray was known for wearing his heart on his sleeve and with this, there would be no exceptions.

It was like any other Thursday night at the Ghostbusters firehouse. Peter and Dana were on the couch together, Winston was sitting on the loveseat, Janine and Egon were practically making bedroom eyes at each other and Ray was trying hard not to glare at Janine and Egon. 

Ray didn't know why this feeling of jealousy burned so deeply in the pit of his stomach. For a bit, he thought he may have liked Janine and while Janine was a very pretty woman, Ray could not see himself having a relationship with her. He also considered that he may like Egon in the romantic way but quickly pushed that thought away. He had no problem with homosexuals but he knew he liked women. He had dated women and thought women were beautiful. He didn't find men beautiful. 

Ray tries not to make his disgust too obvious when Janine kisses Egon's check when he announces he's retiring to the bunk room for the night, turning his head away from the couple to wrinkle his nose a bit. Shortly after Egon retires upstairs, Janine announces that she was going back to her apartment.

"Aww, so the lovebirds aren't spending the night together?" Peter asks, his voice dripping with it's usual sarcasm. Janine ignores him, everybody was getting used to doing that after a while. 

It had felt as though a weight had been lifted off Ray's chest when Janine and Egon weren't around. He felt so guilty for feeling this way about his friends. He should be happy for them but he couldn't stop himself from feeling this way about their relationship. 

Ray was the last to retire to the bunk room, even after Peter had gotten back from taking Dana home. It was about 12:45 AM by the time he had started to head upstairs. He spent his time downstairs thinking, trying to figure out why his stomach churned and burned each time he thought about Egon and Janine. He couldn't come up with any possible explanation and it was driving him insane.

Once he got changed into his pajamas, he immediately laid down on his bed in the bunk room, glancing over at where Egon was already fast asleep in his own bed. He stares at his fellow scientist for a moment before groaning quietly and pulling his covers over his head, curling up into a small ball. Ray used to this all the time as a child when he was scared or confused. He knew it was stupid to still be doing this but he felt so confused and guilty that he felt like he could cry. 

The sound of Peter cursing loudly and a small bang noise had woken Ray up the next morning. Opening his eyes and pulling his covers down a bit down before sitting up, seeing Peter sitting on the ground by his own bed, Egon's bed already empty.

"You alright?" Ray asked, glancing down at Peter. Peter glances up at Ray and shrugs. 

"Stubbed my toe. I'm fiiineee." Peter says, making himself sound relaxed and cool as he stands up, going to get changed into his day clothes. Ray gets out of bed as well to get changed as well, trying to stop himself from glancing over at Egon's empty bed again. 

"The real question is, are you okay, Raymond?" Peter asks as he buttons up his dress shirt. Ray furrows his brows, glancing over at Peter.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Ray asks before sitting down on the edge of his bed to lace up his boots.

"Well, you were quite quiet last night and you looked about five seconds away from maiming Janine." Peter says and Ray freezes for a second before shaking his head, trying to compose himself.

"Why would you think that? Janine's nice." Ray says, trying to sound as nice as possible when talking about her.

"I'm not thinking anything, I'm just making an observation." Peter says, shrugging his shoulders and slipping on his loafers before leaving the bunk room, leaving Ray with his heart beating faster with anxiety and his palms sweating. What did Peter mean by any of that conversation? Ray wasn't sure he wanted to find out.


End file.
